


The Red Fluid

by DoritoDew



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Why Did I Write This?, sans x ketchup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-08-14 01:31:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7993666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoritoDew/pseuds/DoritoDew
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sans finds out more about himself at Grillby's. Rated T for minor swearing, poop jokes, and suggestive content at the very end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Red Fluid

Sans was sitting at the front seat at Grillby's. It had been five weeks since the ending of the Pacifist route, but everyone chose to stay in the Underground so the far-left surface doesn't turn them into SJWs. "man, it seems so long ago, but it's just been a month." Sans said. "HI SANS." Papyrus said with a plate full of spaghetti. "Papyrus, how many times do I have to tell you, no outside food or drinks." Grillby reminded him. "DARN!" the tall skeleton exclaimed and went back outside. "hey, uh, grillby can i have another bottle of ketchup?" Sans asked. "But Sans, you've already had 10..." the flame creature responded, but gave him the bottle anyway. "thanks." And with that, Sans started squeezing the ketchup bottle, causing some ketchup to appear. "man, so sexy." Sans noted. Suddenly, the ketchup bottle came alive, with arms and legs and a face and everything.

"Don't eat me Sans!" the ketchup bottle said. "woah, i don't recall seeing a ketchup monster." Sans said. "Sans, you don't understand, Grillby kidnapped me and my family, and you just drank all of them!" the bottle said. "oh, darn. i'm sorry, hey, what's your name?" Sans felt guilty of committing condiment genocide. "My name's Tito Dick, and I'm from the Philippines. I got separated from my family, Phil and Jack, got turned into a ketchup bottle, and forced to live with a family of other bottles." Tito explained. "oh man, that's rough. say, who turned you into a bottle anywa---" Before Sans could finish his sentence, a mustard bottle, which also has arms, legs and a face, burst through the door. It spoke in a high pitched voice. "I have finally found you, Tito! Now give me back my drugs!" the mustard bottle yelled. "Never, mustard boy!" Tito told him. "My name. Is. HORAT!!!!!!!!!!" Horat yelled, taking out some poop, which was yellow due to being mustard, and flinging it at both Sans and Tito. "ugh, what the damn is this?" Sans wondered.

Suddenly, a weird man walked through the door with the Flintstones. He was a pale white man with a blue moustache, red teeth, blue hair, and the inside of his mouth was also blue. He had a Mario cap with an "I" that had three bars running through it, white gloves, a red shirt, salmon overalls, and white shoes. He took out a radio and started playing high quality Grand Dad rips. Everyone was confused. After that, some anime girls barged in and started singing Snow Halation. This was when a lot of monsters started leaving, so in a last ditch effort, Grand Dad put another tape into the radio. What was it?

"It's the Nutshack." the radio repeated. Anyone remaining in the building was leaving through the fire exit or going mad. So Sans decided to stop this. He summoned a bunch of bones and started killing the intruders with them. It was then when Papyrus came in and accidentally spilled hot spaghetti on the Flintstones, killing them instantly. However, a lot of SiIvas started pouring in from all the doors, and they were outnumbered. It was hopeless. Suddenly...

"What the frick?" SammyClassicSonicFan destroyed all the glass by screaming, killing some of the intruders. Followed behind him were the Loud family, Sans fangirls, Sara from Mishonh From God, Anonymous, Cory Baxter, the Pokemon Go song kid, Meta Knight (the SSBB one), and Jimmy Nutrin all appeared. Within a matter of minutes, all the goons were either beaten up or killed. However, a flying giant stone head appeared. "What did you do to my army?" SiIvaGunner said. He then blasted the building, sending everyone flying everywhere, but Sans landed on the stone head with Tito. Sans summoned his bones and then destroyed the statue, causing it to land in the woods and burn.

"well, that's over. now, let's go home, my dear." Sans said suggestively to the ketchup bottle as they walked to Sans' house.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I'm a SiIvaGunner fan.


End file.
